Another Goddard Experience (I'll explain)

Let me begin by explaining why I called this "Another Goddard Experience." It all connects back to a time in our life when things were really tough. It was about 8 years ago and we were struggling financially (I mean really struggling...like barely able to keep our heads above water kind of struggling). I hadn't been able to find a job and we were getting farther and farther behind. We were praying, fasting, and doing everything we could to keep our faith up. One night at prayer I secretly set a "fleece" out to the Lord. I prayed and told God I really wanted a job before Rachel's next birthday. Her birthday was a few weeks away, but it fell on a Sunday that year. I went to several interviews and continued to sub in schools when I could.
The Monday before her birthday was the beginning of a downward spiral for me. Rachel was almost 5, Leah was 3 and Hailey was almost 1. I was so overwhelmed with taking care of them, taking care of our itty bitty house by the church, taking care of the bills, and stressing over the fact that I did not have a job yet. I knew we were blessed with Steve's job, but the financial burden was definitely overshadowing the blessings. All week I kept reminding the Lord of my plea and what I had prayed. I would remind him when Rachel's birthday was and then start the countdown in my head for how much time He had to come through for me.
Friday morning rolled around and I was devastated. I had prayed so hard and I truly believed He had heard my cry. He knew our situation better than anyone else and yet here I was still without a job. I can honestly say it was probably one of the lowest days of my life. In my mind it was the last business day of the week and there wasn't anymore time for any job offers. I mean, no one ever calls on the weekends to offer someone a teaching position. I knew the reality of the situation and it completely took over every part of me. I couldn't get out of bed and all I wanted to do was cry. It was so bad that my precious little Rachel called her daddy at work and told him she was worried about her mommy and that he should come home. (We lived right next door to the church so he could come home very easily.)
Steve came home and I was a basket case. I couldn't pray. I couldn't talk. All I could do is cry. He held me and prayed over me. He tried to encourage me and he so gently reminded me of all of our blessings. I was under such a deep attack from the enemy that I couldn't hardly function at all. Steve grabbed my hand and helped me sit up so he could hold me and comfort me. I began to pour my heart out to him and tell him of my secret prayer/plea/fleece I had laid before God a few weeks before.
As soon as I was finished talking, our phone rang. Steve answered he handed me the phone. I was in no shape to answer the phone, but he insisted I take the call. I said hello and to my amazement it was The Goddard School in Beavercreek. I had applied there weeks before this and hadn't heard anything. I had even went in for an interview. The woman on the phone said there was just something inside of her that told her she needed to call me and let me know I got the job. She explained that I wouldn't be able to start the job until the end of November, but she wanted me to know I got the job. I couldn't believe it! Here I was...at my lowest point ever...and God met me exactly where I was. I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I balled after I got off the phone. God had been faithful to me even when I had doubted Him and lost faith in Him.
We celebrated that night and went to dinner with my parents. I was absolutely thrilled that I had a job. It wasn't going to be the best paying job and the hours weren't the best either, but at that point I didn't care. I had a job!! It was truly a miracle and God was getting all of the glory.
The next day was a normal Saturday. We were preparing to celebrate Rachel's birthday the next day and doing some things around the house. The phone rang and I was shocked when I answered it. It was the principal at North Dayton School of Discovery (a charter school I had applied & interviewed at). She apologized for calling on a Saturday, but she had waited to hear from one of my references before she called me. She said she wanted to offer me the job as a Kindergarten teacher and that she wanted me to start on Monday. Plus, the pay was about $10,000 more then at Goddard. I was completely and utterly overwhelmed with emotion. I couldn't believe it!
I got off the phone and began to tell Steve about my conversation. The rest of the weekend was a blur because I was on cloud nine. I started teaching that next week and even though it was a rocky start, I will never regret or forget my time at that school. You see...it was through my job at North Dayton that I got connected to Pathway School of Discovery where I have been for the past seven years.
Shortly after I started at North Dayton I realized that God had actually done two miracles in my life that weekend. The first one was with the job at Goddard. Even though it wasn't the job I was supposed to have, it was what I needed at my most desperate time. God looked down and saw me in my desperation and wanted to show me how much He loved me. However, He had something so much better for me. He knew I needed to get the job at North Dayton so I could eventually teach at Pathway and then eventually move into a leadership position. But at the same time, He knew what I needed, when I needed it. I couldn't have waited until Saturday because it would have seemed like a hopeless situation to me. Who would ever have thought that a building principal would call someone on a Saturday? That just doesn't happen. :-)
So how does all of this connect to our Adoption Story? Let me explain...

Last Friday I was at work and hadn't been in my office much. Steve came by the school because I had forgotten something at home and he was bringing it to me. When I met him at my office I noticed I had missed a few calls on my cell phone. I normally don't worry about calls on my cell phone while I am work, but I noticed one of the missed calls was from our adoption agency. Many of you know that our agency has primarily been focused on international adoptions and we have decided that isn't the path God has for us right now. However, it is the agency the Lord led us to a few years ago. Within the last few months our agency has started getting involved in more domestic adoptions throughout the country. They will periodically send us referrals through email for situations from places all over the US, but it wasn't until 2 weeks ago that we actually submitted our profile for a particular situation. It was for a set of twin boys that are due in November. I had been nervous to submit our profile because I didn't want to get my hopes up, but I felt a peace about the entire thing.
So when I saw that the agency had called me and not just emailed me I immediately got curious. Steve encouraged me to call them back while he was still in the building because then I could talk with him about whatever it was in person rather than on the phone. After a few rounds of phone tag, I finally got connected to the Director and she began to tell me about an immediate situation. She told me some generic info about it and asked if I was interested in hearing more. Of course I was interested! She began to explain to me that they had received information about a little boy in California who had been born on 10/13. He was 4 lbs and 13 ozs. He was healthy and doing great despite being really small. Mom had been homeless and there was some trace of drugs in his system but he wasn't having any withdrawls. He was going to be released from the hospital that weekend and they needed to find a placement for him that day. She asked if we were interested and said if we were we would need to leave that day with $24,000 in hand and head to California to pick him up. Talk about being overwhelmed!!!!!
I told her I would call her back because I needed to talk to my husband about it. Steve and I immediately went for a walk and actually ended up driving over to the church parking lot. Steve prayed an amazing prayer of faith over us and over the little guy in CA. For about 20 minutes, the possibility of getting on a plane and going to CA was so real that it almost seemed like he was ours. But something just didn't seem right.
The reality of it all was definitely something we struggled with. We definitely didn't have $24,000...we had no way to pay for airline tickets to CA...the list went on and on. Yet it wasn't that stuff that made me question. There was something deeper that just didn't seem like this was the right match for us. Yes the $ issues were a reality, but I had a peace that if this was my son God would take care of all of that. SO many parts of my heart wanted this to be my son. SO many parts of my heart wanted to call her back and say YES we are on our way. But the voice of the Lord in my heart was telling me to trust Him in all things.
Steve headed into the church and I sat in the truck crying. I began to talk to God in my own way and I was pouring my heart out to Him. I was reminding Him (because once again I thought I needed to remind Him of everything He already knows) of how much I long for my sons and how desperately I want them home with us. Clear as anything I heard the Lord say to me..."This is your Goddard. Do you remember how I came to your rescue with the job at Goddard just in time. Then unbeknownst to you I had something greater in store for your real destiny. That's how I want you to see this situation. This little guy is not your son. However, I want it to be a reminder to you that I have something greater for you. Your son is out there and when the time is right I will bring him home. Until then, trust me and know that as exciting as this burst of emotion has been, I have something greater coming soon."
Once again...I was overwhelmed with emotion as I sat in His presence. I prayed for the little guy in CA and for his birth mommy. When Steve returned to the truck I told him what the Lord had just spoke to me. It was confirmed in his heart and together we began to thank God for His love and His mercies. We prayed for Josiah and Jeremiah and we prayed that God would help us know beyond a shadow of a doubt when the right match presented itself.

And here I am a week later...wondering how the little guy in CA is doing. Praying he was adopted by a loving Christian family who will tell him what a miracle he is. But more than anything I am longing for the day we find our boys and I can tell them what miracles they are. It's hard to not get discouraged. It's hard to hold onto the promises the Lord has made to us. It's hard to see how all of this will ever work out. And then...that's when He gently reminds me of His faithfulness and I have no choice but to lean on His everlasting arms and trust that He has it all in the palm of His hands.